


Write Stuff

by swith (jetpackrat)



Category: Borderlands
Genre: AU, Athena is awkward, F/F, Jathena - Freeform, Tiny Tina is the ultimate wingman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 08:23:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4256280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jetpackrat/pseuds/swith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Athena gets roped into taking her niece to the midnight launch of J. Springs' bestselling YA scifi series.  It goes worse (and better) than she expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Write Stuff

One downside of being the owner of an independent martial arts studio was the staggering amount of paperwork that was involved.  Athena kept meticulous records, but trying to get her employees to follow suit was like herding cats.  Cats with anger management issues and ADD, who thought that writing “punched a guy.” counted as an incident report ( _really,_ Wilhelm?).  When her sister and niece showed up with a tray of coffees and pastries from her favourite cafe, she was only too glad to take a break. 

Tina was staring at her, slightly unnervingly.  To be fair, everything Tina did was slightly unnerving.  “How’s the coffee?  Good, right? We went to Atlas ‘cause I remember you said they make the best lattes and I _care_ about you, Auntie, _so much_.  I mean, I was just telling Pickle today how I had the bestest most badassest most _amazing_ aunt in the whole world ever, and he was all ‘WHAAAAT’ and I was all ‘YOU HEARD ME SON’ and he was all—“

“Tina, sweetie,” said Athena.  “It’s not that I don’t appreciate you guys stopping by, but why don’t we cut to the chase and you tell me what you want.”

“Auntie Athena!  I am _shocked_ and _appalled_ that you would think me so mercenary, so _manipulative_ –“

“She’s on to us, kiddo,” said Jess, who didn’t even have the decency to look slightly embarrassed at being caught out.  “We kind of need a huge favour – there’s this book launch tonight –“

“It is not,” sniffed Tina, “a ‘book launch’ _._   It is _only_ the midnight release party of  the fourth volume of the _most important_ young adult fiction seriesthat has _ever_ or _will ever be_ written _-“_

“—and I’m on nights this week, I can’t find anyone to take my shift and I promised Tina she could go months ago.”

“PLEAAASE, Athena?  I will die if I can’t go to this, I will LITERALLY die.  Also that jerkface Pickle is gonna be there and if he goes and I don’t he will never let me forget it and my social life is over.  My reputation shall be _shattered_.”

Jess rolled her eyes.  “Yes, this is clearly an event that will haunt you through the rest of your middle school career.  I know it’s short notice, but would you do it?  It’d mean a lot.”

“Oh MY GOD yes, it would mean SO MUCH to me please oh please oh please…”

Athena chuckled.  “I’d be glad to take you.  How bad could it possibly be?”

 

* * *

 

 

“—and then after they unite the Darksider Clan and the Luninites, they FINALLY get to the Vault, right? BUT OH SNAP ZARPEDON IS ALREADY THERE.  And that’s where the last book ended! Can. You. Even. Believe that.  ‘Cause I cannot.  It was SO AMAAAZIIIING.”

Tina had spent the entire twenty-minute drive to the bookstore breaking down the plot of the Vault Hunter series, though Athena had lost the thread somewhere around the five-minute mark.  There was a laser and a moon, and, presumably, a Vault?  She’d heard some of her students in the Tuesday night youth kenpo class talking about them.  It seemed like pretty standard young adult sci-fi fare, but according to Jess every kid in her niece’s school was crazy about it.

“Anyways, J. Springs herself is gonna be signing books there and I have wanted to meet her for like EVER.  She is bad as hell.  Did I mention that you are the super-raddest for taking me to this launchamawhatsit?”

Athena reached over and ruffled her hair.  “Don’t worry about it, sweetie.  I’m happy to spend time with you.”  It was true – she liked her niece, and never minded helping her sister out.  Jess worked herself ragged, and keeping up with Tina was exhausting all on its own. 

“Nevertheless, I am _totes_ gonna make it up to you.  I gots it aaaaallll planned out.”

Case in point.

“Tina, you don’t have to -”

“Nawnawnaw, trust me, okay?  If I learned anything from Tumblr, and I think I have, it’s that YA crap is the shizz right now.  It ain’t just gonna be kids at this thing, know what I’m saying?  I seen the cosplayer pics.  Place is gonna be _crawling_ with fine-ass ladies and tonight, Miss Tina is your wingwoman extraordinaire.”

There was only one part of this that Athena understood, and it didn’t sound promising.  “Oh god.  Tina, you _really, really_ don’t have to –“

“Auntie Athena, real talk: you are super duper bad at dating.”

Athena scowled at her.  “One, my…relationship status is none of your business.  Two, I go on dates! I date people.”

Tina raised an eyebrow.  “You mean people like Hell Bitch?”

“Lilith was not a hell bitch,” said Athena automatically.  “We were just…incompatible.  It was a mutual breakup.”

Tina snorted.  “Um, she tried to kill you.  Twice.  Mom had to put like a bazillion stitches in your head.”

Athena winced.  “That was an accident!  Probably.  And it was only four stitches.  Look, forget about Lilith.  I do all right.”

“Uh huh.  So “all right” that you had no problem dropping all your Friday night plans to stand in line with an eleven year old for hours and hours just to get a book signed.  I mean, you _had_ plans, right?”

“Of-“

“Hittin’ the gym and binging on Netflix don’t count, yo.”

Athena colored.  “Okay, whether or not I had plans isn’t relevant to this discussion.  That we’re not having, because it’s none of your business.”

Tina patted her hand encouragingly.  “Athena, Athena, Athena, don’t you worry your pretty little head.  Tina’s got this.  Everything is gonna be awesome.”

 

* * *

 

 

Everything was not awesome.

The bookstore was packed.  Tina had been right – while the bulk of the people inside were between the ages of eight and twelve, there was a pretty wide range of ages.  Most of them were dressed up to some extent – Tina herself had some kind of mask strapped to the side of her head, and it turned out the red and black leather jacket she always wore was similar enough to the main character’s that everyone thought she was dressed up as well.  So far she’d been approached by nine different people; seven of whom wanted photos with her, and two creeps who she’d had to threaten with broken fingers before they got the message that she wasn’t interested in roleplaying _anything_.  After that, she’d hovered around the snack table in a desperate attempt to avoid getting into a conversation with anyone.  It was a temporary respite – Tina found her and dragged her to the back of the store, where an enormous lineup had begun for the signing table.

Like most vertically challenged people, Athena hated crowds.  She especially hated crowds in ridiculous outfits that kept bumping into her (like all the people in those weird boxy yellow costumes that Tina had said were some kind of robot character– why did people like him so much?  Why did they keep trying to give her high fives?)  There wasn’t enough complimentary coffee and snacks in the world to make this okay.

They’d been slowly shuffling forward in the line for an hour.  Athena had spent most of the time checking work emails and having a text argument with Nisha over whether or not curbstomping was an appropriate move to teach in a senior’s self defense class.

Tina was quietly vibrating in place, clinging to her brand new copy of _Vault Hunter 4: Elpis Unbound_ with a white-knuckled death grip.  “Holy crap, that’s her, that’s Springs, Athena I am so excited I literally _cannot handle this_.”

Athena looked up, and caught her breath.  She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting – some middle-aged librarian type, maybe?  Probably someone who wore a cardigan and glasses on a chain.  The woman at the table was none of those things.  Young, pretty, blonde, dressed in battered jeans and heavy boots.  She was chatting and smiling with each fan that came to her table, seemingly delighted to be signing books for eternity at an ungodly hour. 

Tina shot forward and grabbed the edge of the table, bouncing up and down in excitement.  “Oh my god, Miss Janey Springs, hiiii!  My name is Tina and I’m eleven years old and you are my seriously my favouritest author in the entire _universe.”_

Springs’ face lit up with a grin, and Athena amended her earlier thought.  She wasn’t just pretty, she was _stunning_.  “Hello ,Tina!  It’s a pleasure to meet you!  Glad to hear you like my stuff.”  She glanced Athena, and her eyes flicked up and down almost imperceptibly.  “And _hello_ to you too.”  

 _Great, she's got a sexy accent,_  said a treacherous voice in her brain. _Like she needed to be more attractive._

“Um, hi," said Athena, and realized this was probably inadequate.  She searched for something else to say.  "I've never read your books."  Okay, that wasn't significantly better.  Out of a lack of better ideas, she stuck out her hand.  Springs reached over the table and took it in a firm grip.  Her palms were rough and callused, but really, really warm. 

 _She must do a lot of manual work.  Probably good with her hands.  Her fingers are really long._  

Athena realized she was still holding the author’s hand, and this interaction had gone on way too long for a friendly introduction. She pulled away awkwardly and pretended to adjust her scarf.

Tina looked at her aunt, looked at Springs, and a gleeful expression crept across her face.  Athena had a sudden acute sense of dread. 

“This is my Auntie Athena, who is basically the awesomest person _alive_.”  Tina wrapped her arm around Athena’s waist and dragged her slightly closer to Springs.   “I wanted to go to this so bad tonight but my mom couldn’t take me ‘cause she had to work ‘cause it is _so hard_ being a single mom but it’s cool cause Athena is always there for us, know what I mean? So Athena was like “Don’t you worry, Tina, I will take you to meet the greatest author of our times because I am a loving and generous person, and incidentally I am free tonight because I am single and totes available –“

The dread blossomed into full-fledged horror.  “Tina!”

Janey Springs propped her chin in her hands, clearly fighting back laughter.  “I think that’s awful sweet of your very available aunt.”  She turned that megawatt smile on Athena, and Athena’s mind went blank.  “And what do you do when you’re not going to book launches, Athena?”

 _Say something, idiot_.

_God, she has pretty eyes._

_Not that!_

“Well, thank you very much,” purred Springs, and Athena realized in despair that she’d said that second part out loud.

 _It’s okay, this is still salvageable!_ said her brain helpfully.  _Someone could pull the fire alarm and evacuate the building.  Or maybe the roof could collapse and bury us all._

She tried again.  “I mean, I work.  I fight children.” Janey blinked.  “I mean, I teach children to fight.  It’s self-defense.  I’m going to stop talking now.”

“Aww, yeah!,” Tina piped up.  “It is so awesome, you should see her do competitions too, she totally kicked this jerk Deadlift’s bitch ass this one time and it was BOSS.  She is c-ra-zy strong too!  I am talking _ripped_.”

Okay, Springs was _definitely_ checking her out this time.  “Is that so?”

“All I’m sayin’ is it’s a good thing my mom is a nurse cause her arms are _siiiiiick_.”

“Okay!” said Athena brightly.  “That’s just about enough, I think it’s time you went to bed.  Let’s go.  Right now.  Get in the truck.”

“Wait, wait!” Springs was digging through the pile of books beside her.  “Hang on, I ain’t signed your copies yet.  Here ya go.”  Tina snatched the book back and clutched it to her chest like her firstborn child.

Springs held out a second book, and caught Athena’s eyes again.  “Here’s the first book in the series.  Give it a read, you might find something you like.”  _That smile._ It made her feel like every part of her body was waking up.  She took the book, and managed not to fumble it. 

 

* * *

 

Athena slammed the driver side door and turned to glare at her niece.  “You.  Are _so._ Grounded.”

“Uh huh,” Tina answered, flipping through her aunt’s book without looking up.

“I’m serious, Tina!  God, I sounded like an idiot in there.  ‘You have pretty eyes’?  Who even says that to a stranger?”  

What _had_ happened in there?  Athena normally prided herself on being cool, calm, and collected, but something about Janey Springs had made her fumble and stammer like an adolescent with her first crush.  Oh well - she would probably never see the woman again, and could put this entire embarassing incident behind her.  The thought wasn't as reassuring as it should have been; the idea that she'd never hear that voice again was oddly disappointing. _  
_

“Mmm hmm, yeah, have you looked at this book yet? Cause you probably wanna do that.”

Athena sighed and took the open book from her, then froze.  Scrawled across the title page was a phone number.  _Tell me what you think_ was written underneath it, next to a winking smiley face.

“Aww yiss!  Who’s the best? Tina’s the best! Athena, gimme a high five!  Gimme a high five cause you are gonna hit that!”

She rolled her eyes, but complied.  On the downside, Tina was going to be insufferable (well, more so) for the foreseeable future. 

On the upside, she might actually have some plans next Friday.

**Author's Note:**

> Christ, I apologize for the terrible title. I haven't written fic in years, so this is a little rough. But we need more moon lesbians. Also, writing Tina is REALLY HARD, you guys.


End file.
